When I was a kid, I hated dealing with probelms. If reality just got too much, i'd go to bed and take a nap --- dream --- and escape reality. When I woke up, it made you feel a little bit better but you know the problem is still there. Funny, looking back, those problems back then were so meager; as in failing a quiz, getting into trouble in school, or getting your parents angry. I pride myself in becoming a much better problem solver. I just took it on as a challenge, whether it be games, exams, and work. I deal with problems every day and finding the solution has became part of a 'daily routine'; per se. My VP always told me, "Andrew, you're someone that just doesn't give up. If there's a way to fit a square peg in a round hole, you'd find a way to do it." That statement stuck with me. He meant that as a compliment because he knows I was working on a very tough problem and was confident I'd find a solution. But he also meant it as a sense of stubborness - that sometimes, it just won't work, and you have to take a step back to look reasses the whole situation and maybe get more help. This year, I feel like I've just suddenly lost my motivation to deal with problems. I wish I can just go take a nap and dream, and just escape from it all, or resign, packup and move away. Numb... I failed, in finding a solution to my own relationship problems...I saw the cracks and the signs but somehow I became blind to the whole situation. I feel, foolish, to have trusted so much and to have come out empty handed. ...now, where does this road lead me? I've asked this to myself every day since.
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